My Blog List

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Dating a Younger Man

Oh my, this could be interesting territory.  The older I get the more I’m approached by younger men.  Now stereotypically, when men go younger it’s perfectly acceptable but if a women dares to cross that 10 year plus line, we have to endure being labeled a “cougar”. Why am I considered a predatory female if I date younger men.  Societal labels suck, but as I’ve always been taught, “it’s not what they call you but what you answer to” that counts. 

Now, let’s talk about this cougar thing for a moment, shall we?
According to the informal definition states:

…an older woman who seeks sexual relationships with much younger men: He's in his twenties, but he prefers cougars in their forties and fifties to young women his own age.

Seeks?  WTF? As you can see I’m not real happy with that definition so I continued to dig. had a more “tolerable” short definition that states:

: A cougar is an older woman who is primarily attracted to and has sex with significantly younger men.
However as it goes into a more in-depth explanation, the predatory crap returns:
The most commonly-accepted definition of a cougar is a woman 40 years of age or older who exclusively pursues very young men. The onset of the cougar years is hotly debated. Some feel that a cougar can be as young as 35, but women of this age would not be viewed as cougars unless their sexual conquests were no older than 25; the ten-year age difference seems to be an unspoken but accepted minimum between partners.

Typically, cougars prey (there’s that word again) upon men almost young enough to be their sons. Thus fortysomething cougars would be attracted to men in their 20s, and fiftysomething cougars would pursue men in their 30s and so on. Some cougars are less interested in a relationship than a sexual conquest, perhaps enjoying the fact that they are physically appealing to men who are considered to be in the prime of their virility.
Are you kidding me? So what is it called when the younger man pursues you? I just don’t get it.  Anywho…back to my original thought.

The older I get, the more I’m approached by younger me. Younger men seem to have no since of fear when it comes to approaching older women.  The possibility of rejection means nothing. They just go for it. Ya have to love that, at least I do. It has been my experience to find these men confident and poised. I don’t mind saying it’s a great confidence boost to have someone ten to fifteen years my junior ask me out. It forces me to monitor my appearance before walking out the door. 

Have I ever taken any of these guys up on their offer? You’re Damn Skippy I have. Side note, don’t use the term “damn skippy” while out with one of these guys, not cool. LOL… It was fun and well worth both our time.  Enough said!!!
Now if you dare to venture in this area, here are a couple of things to keep in mind:
·         Be yourself – if the latest slang is way outside your realm of thinking, leave it there.  No need sounding like a fool. The last time I checked the Kings English still works well when communicating.

·         Be open – you never know what you may learn. The two of you are from somewhat different worlds which both of you will have a perspective that is unique to one another. Explore it.

·         Don’t preach to him – just because you may have graduated high school with his mother doesn’t mean he needs for you to act like her when you’re out.

·         Try it at least once – why not?

·         Be honest – if the pressure is too much for you then let it go.

·         Be comfortable in your own skin – you have to be comfortable with you no matter who you date.  Be prepared for some odd looks and some raised eyebrows, especially from family and friends.  People have a tendency to react to your situation using their personal fears and inhibitions.  Remember it’s your life. Screw what others think.  Know what you want – if sex is it then let that be known. If it’s companionship, go for it. 

If it works out, great and if not so what; life is all about the experience.  Don’t be afraid to try something or someone different; who knows you just might like it and if not well…on to the next one!