My Blog List

Monday, June 4, 2012

He's an EX for a REASON!

Ladies, he's an Ex for a reason. Often times the opportunity to reconnect with a past Like/Love will rear it's twisted head. It "seems" to occur at just the prime time when you are alone or should I say between relationship or even worst when you're experiencing the dreaded "dry spell".  Its during these times when a familiar voice from the past (depending on the type of break-up and the length of lapsed time) sounds pretty good. Think about it, it's familiar and more than likely the entire relationship wasn't horrible, just the intolerable parts (ha ha).  In any case selective memory kicks in and suddenly the bad times don't seem so bad now.  DON'T FALL FOR IT!!!

I'm not saying in a second chance could never work; however we must view this potential reconciliation with unclouded and non-nostalgic eyes.

If considering another go at it Biggirlz, here are a couple of tips to guide and defog your thinking

  1. Realistically recall what ended the relationship. Was it an unacceptable behavior, infidelity, abuse... Side note (strictly my opinion) NEVER return to an abusive partner. Abuse is a disease that's extremely difficult to cure or heal. Don't put yourself or your support system through that again.  You made it out once, don't press your luck. Did you grow apart or did the partnership deteriorate?  No matter the reason, reflect truthfully
  2. Run your desires past your true BFF. By "true" BFF I mean the one that can recall your "venting" sessions down to the most minuscule point. It's the BFF that will give it to you straight no chaser.  Consider their response (don't live or die by it, but do consider it).
  3. Listen to your gut not your heart. If something is pinching you and the initial thought is "Can I trust him" then you probably can't.
  4. Be honest with your desires. Are you looking to renew the commitment or mess up some sheets? Whatever the goal, share your sentiment with your EX.  If you intend to move forward with tampering with your past, don't forget to set some boundaries.
For some odd reason, I've spoken or ran into five Ex's over the last six weeks (don't With each encounter (all but one) there was an attempt/suggestion by them to go to dinner, movie or at least meet for drinks.  I had to respectfully decline although one was pretty damn tempting, I must say.  With each conversation something triggered my inner voice to rise up and say "Hell NO!" So I'm listening.  When I realistically reflect on these past relationships, I can find fault on both sides. More them than me of course. None were abusive, Thank God but just not worth returning to the scene of the crime.

Keep in mind the final decision is yours. Only you know if the stroll down memory lane will be worth the journey. For me  Nah...I'll take my chance with the future.

Moving on to next one while looking for my next EX!