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Monday, October 1, 2012

BEWARE: Fall Cling Cometh

BEWARE: Fall Cling Cometh

Well BigGirlz it’s that time of year again where frosty mornings and chilly evening remind folks that winter is on the way.  It also reminds the single that now is the time to find a warm body to nestle with for the winter thus, Fall Cling.

Now let me back track a little for those who are unfamiliar with the “cycle”. The cycle is the mating/dating phase started by men (but perfected by women). Sorry guys, it’s a given if you create something, a woman will ALWAYS find a way to improve or perfect it. with it!  This cycle which begins with Fall Cling and ends around March or April with Spring Release is a known tactic used by what I will refer to as a “Clinger” to get thru the lonely cold winter months. Now you may say “Why Not? What’s wrong with a little companionship to get you thru those long cold winter nights?”  Absolutely nothing as long as you know going in what’s the real deal.  Roll with it. Just keep your head and don’t get all caught up.

Now for those BigGirlz who are unsure if that is what is currently happening in your world, here are a few signs to keep in your back pocket.
1.      NOTICE: As mentioned earlier, when the air begins to chill the thought of companionship seems to move to the forefront of thought.  So the search begins to find someone you can deal with or at least someone willing to warm the body, like a good cognac, for about 6 to 8 months.  With that, the phone begins to ring a little more than usual. The opposite sex seems to be a bit more attentive to your every move. That same person whose path you cross on a regular basis not only says “Good Morning” but now wants to hold a conversation with you. That is a sign of Fall Cling.

So you say “what the hell” and go with it.  Once again keep in mind what you may be getting into. The two of you talk and before you know it a relationship (and I use the term loosely) seems to bud.
2.      CAUTION:  Things begin to progress and all is fine.  By now, you’re on your way to the holidays. You may even meet a few family members and friends on the way. That is normal progression/concealment. This is experienced Clinger behavior. You will be lulled into thinking things are good between the two of you. 
3.      WARNING: This is where you separate the inexperienced from the experienced Clinger.  It’s Christmas. Both types of Clingers if smart and most of them are, will give you an appropriate gift. Not too sentimental but given with thought. Now, here is the difference between the two.  The experienced Clinger will take you to the major family or friend holiday gathering. Note you will be introduced but as his “friend”, not girlfriend just friend. Don’t be offended; remember you were warned from the beginning. The inexperienced Clinger will tell you about the function and down play it by saying things like, “yeah, I’ll probably stop by just to say hi on my way to be with you” or “I have to make an appearance so they won’t trip and then I’ll head your way”.  You get what I’m saying… You will not be attending this little soiree; you're not invited.
4.      BEWARE: New Year’s Eve.  Truly a laughable moment; the inexperienced will spend the time with you thru midnight but meet his/her crew afterwards.  The experienced Clinger will take you out. Nothing extravagant but a relatively pleasant evening. In your gut, something doesn’t feel quite right. Don’t shrug it off.  Trust it is the beginning of the end.

5.      EXPLOSION: End of January beginning of February, you will notice little tiffs and arguments begin to escalate with an annoyance factor starting to fester.  And then Valentine’s Day hits like a brick. The gift, if  you receive one SUCKS! There’s the big blow out fight that was planned since day one. Operation Spring Release is right on track.

And what happens next, you both decide to give each other some space. As a general rule you continue talk a little but not very much. Just enough contact in case there is another harsh cold snap. LOL!  Then before you realize it winter is over and spring is starting to peek thru the dreary sky.

6.      DONE DEAL:  Talks have ended and you both have gone your separate ways. WTH... Spring Release has arrived. You have been relieved of all duties in the Clinger's life.
BigGirlz, don't let get ya down. It is what it is... Some shit happens because we ignore the signs and continue on hoping for the best.  The other side of that, we jump in thinking we can handle the situation and forget our heads.

If you have a sexy BigGirlz swagger and got it going on, be ye warned you are a target.  Flirt and flip the table. Remember you can control this and use it to your benefit.  As for me, screw Fall Cling, I'm too busy to play this year!

I'm moving on to the next one with a big ass bottle of Courvoisier and an electric blanket!!!  LMAO...