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Thursday, May 11, 2017

Unlikely Fumes


Are you running on Unlikely Fumes? Yes I said Unlikely Fumes.
Ya see at one time or another we've all generated an unlikely thought. What do I mean, well of course I'll explain. 

As defined, unlikely means something is doubtful, improbable or questionable. For instance, you could have goals but create a thought process that says it is doubtful I will reach my desired weight; it’s improbable I will ever find a suitable mate or even questionable I will come close to achieving a life of fulfillment.

Unlikely Fumes...

BigGirlz, we have to learn to move beyond the unlikely and channel our inner foundation of absolute success.

Ya see BigGirlz, as most of you know I write about and discuss subjects that are close to me. Trust me, I'm well versed at meandering thru Unlikely Fumes. Weight, mate and life are just a couple of subject permeating my life’s atmosphere.

Fume #1: Let's start with weight. SHIT!!!!!

First and foremost you have to be happy with you. If there is an issue, you have to take the steps to change, modify, fix, correct (yes I can go on) it. In my mind when your size prevents you from enjoying various aspects of your life a decision has to be made. Change you or change what you like to do. So once again talking about myself, I decided to endure the challenge of losing some pounds. Again, not to fit into societal norms but to:  

1.   Stop my damn knees from hurting
2.   Climb a couple flights of stairs without feeling as if my damn lungs were going to jump out of my chest and say "heffa you're on your own, we're tired" LOL
3.   Fit in a roller coaster seat and/or sit comfortably in an airplane seat (no extender belt)

See, when you have what seems to be a larger than life ass, (giggle giggle) those simple little things can be a freaking challenge. So what was so Unlikely about that...well, I knew I could lose a few pounds but was unsure of the longevity of keeping it off. Bottom line BigGirlz I had to take control of not just my eating but my thoughts. You’re not just what you eat but you become your most consistent thoughts. I had to KNOW that I could make that change and believe that not if but when I fall off the wagon, I could climb right back on and keep pushing toward my goal. Am I there yet, close, but I have resolved in my mind that I WILL. No room for doubt.

Fume #2: The Mate (Oh Lord)

BigGirlz, I started this blog because of the countless discussions I was either pulled or jumped into regarding dating as a plus size woman (I don't really care for that particular term, but whatever). Note the blog name, Dating not Marriage, why? Because in my mind dating was as far as I could imagine for my life, especially at this stage of the game. Marriage was a big ass Unlikely Fume. Hell, I didn't take dating serious. I wasn't looking for a mate. For what? What I realized while I was working to reduce the amount of junk in both my trunk and mind, (super focused on me) there was a different plan being constructed on my behalf. How? Well, as I purged my mind of the 'improbable’ in many aspect of my life, things began to change. I’ll forgo the clich├ęs, sort of… As I changed so did my habits, thoughts and aura (Y’all know I’m all about aura). Positive flocks to positive. You see BigGirlz I can actually see me becoming a wife. Hell, who knew right? lol

Fume #3: Life Fulfillment

Damn, isn't that what living not existing is all about? Apparently I missed the mark in my jacked up thinking patterns. Fulfillment comes from within, at least for me. As always I’m referring to me in these scenarios. Point, only you can determine your level of satisfaction. Maybe cars and cash or friends and family hold the wealth of your fulfillment. In either case a life of fulfillment should not be based on what others have planned for you. Ya see BigGirlz I had it ALL wrong. I thought it would happen at each milestone reached. You know, College Graduation, increased salary (trust me it ain’t like that…lol) or even traveling the world, ok a few places in the world. Nah…think about it after each accomplishment most of us are looking for the next thing to do. I’m not saying those things won’t enhance your life or even bring you joy. What I am saying is after all is said and done, when you are alone and left to your own devices are you happy? Can you sit back and think if I drew my last breath right this very second would I have regrets?  Hmmmm….

Have I made some F’d up decisions, ABSOLUTELY! Can I go back and fix/change them, hell naw. Do I let those things hinder me from moving forward, NOPE! BigGirlz, I seriously thought that fulfillment would come from things outside of me. WRONG!! For me, fulfillment truly is a “place of my self-content”. Once again, who knew? 

I do, now!

Unlikely Fumes, be gone. I’m moving on to the next one fumigating my mind so thoughts of Unlikely have to dissipate.