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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

BigGirlz, you survived  V-day…

Well single BigGirlz, we did it! We survived the dreaded Valentine’s Day!!! I know it was rough for some but you made it, even if it took a tub of ice cream, half a pizza and a dozen or so of chocolate chip cookies, we lived!  For those who blew the day off as another “hump day eve", you are to be commended. For the rest of us who found watching what seemed to be an endless barrage of balloon and flower deliveries annoying and downright depressing, this rant is for you. 

For us singles, BigGirl or not, V-day can be a strain to the heart.  There’s a tendency to internalize the “so what the hell is wrong with me” or “when will my turn come” question.  Sistas of the thick never give up hope.  First of all we have to love ourselves. (yeah yeah, I know what I sound like). Beyond that it’s all a process.  Yes it would have been nice to receive a gift from someone special but keep in mind many women that have a significant other were still greeted with an empty box. 

So, what to do, keep on living.  Find ways to bring joy to someone else’s life.  Next year, purchase a box of valentine hearts, you know the kind you use to give out when you were a child, and randomly give them to strangers you pass on the street, especially if he’s cute. Sneak one in someone shopping cart at the local grocery store.  Leave one on a coworker’s desk and sign it as their mystery admirer.  Decorate your personal space.  Find little ways to smile. Before you realize it, those smile become giggles that will transform your head and your heart.  That one time “woe is me” will become a “damn that was fun”. 

Try it.  What do you have to lose other than a couple of bucks and a bad attitude? 
Moving on to the next one with a hand full of 50% off cards from Wal-Mart to use next year

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Big Girlz, dating is a trip…

I not long ago read excerpts from a book called Red Flags by C.Tracy Lightsey.  You can check it out yourself at  It was quite an interesting read. It made me reflect on a recent dating experience I had. The more I think about it, I can’t help but wonder, “Ladies do we send mixed signals that create ‘green flags’ in the minds of the men we date?” Did I give him the idea that getting “naked” was an acceptable move for him to make. (LOL)

You be the judge…

·         I complimented him on his attire and how absolutely great he smelled

o   I’m a firm believer in giving credit where it is due. Hey he looked great and smelled even better. It was a refreshing change to go on a date with someone who wore something other than a throwback jersey and sneakers. 
·         After dinner, I agreed to watch movies at his place

o   Well, why not? I hadn’t cleaned my house and it was a chance to see where and how he lived.

·         Agreeing to watch movies in his bedroom

o   Ok, that may have been a bad idea
·         Getting comfortable on his bed.

o   Damn this is getting worse by the moment…LOL

·         Taking off my sweater

o   Yep that may have been misinterpreted. It definitely could have been seen as an attempt to be more appealing.  Seriously my damn sweater was bulky so I just took it off. (Won’t do that again!)

What the Hell…when you put it all together, yep maybe I did send mix signals. Trust and believe that was not the intension.  I guess I need to go back to my old blunt ways and declare before the date “We will not be screwing this evening!” That will at least give him the opportunity to change the place, itinerary or even more severe, stand me up!  Ya gotta love it!

Fully clothed, I’m moving on to the next one…