Dating can be a challenge at any age, so don’t think issues are exclusive to younger women. Ya see, as women no matter the age we all struggle at some point with navigating the dating arena. Anything from momentary insecurities to second guessing the decision to leave the comfort of you couch. So what’s my point? Self navigation.
As we get older, there are additional battles that commence in our mental. The added pressures of being “old” and single which means I’m single (hopefully…lol) either never been married, divorced or widowed. With the latter you hit the mark at least once but with the first one; oh hell, there is still a societal pressure to be married by now. If you are still single then “oh dear God, what is wrong with you?” Without constant self-affirmation that bullshit can wear on your mental state. Of course there are some exceptions but the majority of women either openly or secretly want a significant other in their lives. Now for all the closet feminists, just sit back and read and keep your comments to yourself.
Ok my seasoned BigGirlz here goes…
At this stage in the game of life we have to put our self-esteem issue to bed. If undervalued self-esteem is a battle for you, than dating will just add to your anxiety. Keep that in mind. Of course it’s possible to forge your way thru just stay aware of your battles when accepting dates. Whatever your age preference, here are a couple of tips I hope are useful:
1.Be confident. Even if you have to fake it. With age and grey (even if you dye the strands) there comes a perception that older women are confident and that confidence, not arrogance is viewed as appealing and downright sexy. Now in your confidence, don’t sell a product you can’t produce. Even as you fake your way thru stay true to who you are even if that truth is well hidden.
2.Don’t over share. Being older especially if you are comfortable in your skin, women have a tendency to over share. Stop it! He doesn’t need to know every intimate detail of your last vacation or grocery trip. Damn sure don’t discuss your marriage desires even if the subject somehow tips in that direction. Turn that ship toward the ocean. It’s a trap. Just gloss pass it without seeming evasive. If you’re not much of a conversationalist, do your homework. Look up some current events. Ask questions that are light, i.e. “where are you originally from”, “what sports are you into”, “do you like chocolate (lol).” It’s like preparing for an interview.
3.If you’ve selected to go on a date with a “younger” guy, don’t dress too trendy. That makes you look old and as if you are trying too hard. Keep it classy. If it’s a casual date, black jeans, moderate heels, cute top and polished accessories. Not too much. If in doubt peruse social media.
4.Always ALWAYS carry enough cash or credit to cover the check. I know that’s basic but we tend to forget. Sometimes paying the check and walking away is the best end to a funky encounter.
Dating is a challenge at any age. Don’t be afraid of it. Embrace the challenge and fight thru it. Comfort comes in repetition. Keep trying all the angst becomes worth it in the end. I’m moving on to the next one with a glass of wine in my hand and a list of question in my purse.
New you, new…don’t even. The most over used and annoying phrase verbalized at the beginning of each new year. What a crock. New year new habits, new year new goals and even new year new perspective, but NOT new year new you PLEASE!!!! Anywho, that is my brief rant for the day. So, BigGirlz it’s been awhile. Why? Well, I’ve wasted a lot of time performing task not related to my life goals or pressing toward my dream life. As a matter of fact, I’ve been watching more TV. Mindlessly watching TV; not focusing on it just starring at it and allowing time and life to just march on pass. Crazy. Sitting and watching the result of someone else’s hard work instead of working on my own. Disappointing. So now what? Refocus and Restart. If you made it to this moment, then you’ve (I’ve) been given a do-over. I’ve been given more time. No resolution, just an inner call to get off my ass and get back to what I’ve started. Sure accountability partners can assist but ULTIMATELY the responsibility of success is on me. Only I can make me get to cracking. Only I can push my ass forward. No big promised, just time to move.