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Sunday, December 4, 2011

Geezer Magnet

Big Girlz are you a Geezer Magnet…?

Now, don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating an older man. Do whatever or whoever makes you feel comfortable.  My question is does it seem that 2 out of 5 men that approach you are at least 20 – 30 years your senior?  I know it’s not just me.

Back when I was a teenager, about 15 or 16, I notice how older men constantly hit on me. At that stage in my life, I found the whole thing freaking creepy.  Often it was said to me, “Girl you and those baby making hips…” disgusting!!!  Yes I was and still am double blessed with hips and ass (yippee).  Is and was that the draw? Lately I’ve had my share of “Geezers” flirting.  Maybe it would be different if they were “easy on the eye”. LOL…ok maybe not.  20 years plus is WAY past my comfort range.  Hell, 10 – 15 puts them in a number bracket that I just can’t seem to mention without grimacing.  Man do I have issues.

Ok let’s talk about this…

If dating older (as in 20 years +) sounds appealing, then there are a couple of things you need to keep in mind:
1.   Be prepared to start the date earlier than you are accustomed. Say for instance you’re 40, if he is 20 years your senior, that’s going to put him in the 60 plus bracket.  Beginning a date 9:00 pm may be a bit much.  Don’t expect him to want to “party” until 3:00 or 4:00 am.  Adjust your thinking. You have to practice some flexibility.  I’m not saying give up everything you desire for he has to step up his game as well. I’m sure you’re not his first “younger” woman, so he probably has an idea what he may encounter.  Just be mindful of what may or may not work.
2.   Pick a spot of mutual interest.  If he is into Blues and you’re into Hip Hop, maybe your middle ground is a club that offers R&B.  A great suggestion would be to find a place that features a “versatile” live band. If you’re lucky they may provide music you both can appreciate.

3.   Be yourself. Compromising and being flexible is great but never to the point that you stop being YOU.  If things just aren’t jelling, move on.  Older men and women too, are set in their ways. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can change this man. ( NOT going to happen) If things seem to be progressing at a pace that feels right, then by all means continue to enjoy.

Just like any potential relationship it can only flourish if you nurture it with truth and honesty (I know what I sound like, don’t remind me).  Keep it real not just with him but more importantly with yourself.  At the end of the day the way you feel about yourself is what really matters.