What type of Bullshit are you feeding yourself? Why do I ask? Well, not long ago I was a part of a discussion that brought to the forefront how much we lie to ourselves in order to make it through. Through what…Dating/Relationships/Singlehood/Lifeshit. These lies over time become notorious isolating walls created for the protection of our vulnerable spirits. And I get it, no one wants to be hurt and after it’s happened on numerous occasions it’s a lot easier and much safer to withdraw to a fortress meticulously constructed from past hurts, broken relationships, stupid decisions, misguided trust, insecurity and so on.
Hiding is NOT the answer.
Sure the lies help you to appear strong and stable. And we all know that if you repeat it to yourself enough, it will become your “truth”; however the void you have suppressed will eventually ooze to the surface at the most inopportune time and more than likely mask itself as something you will believe is unrelated. Even worse that tumoristic void will attach itself to a separate situation that you will dismiss as “I was just pissed”.
Time to stop the madness!!!
So BigGirlz, how do we begin to move beyond our walls? How do we break the cycle of falsehood and release our imprisoned spirits from our self perfected fortress?
First we must identify the lies we continuously play in our heads. Yes I realize we can and often do get caught up in our own bullshit, but identifying the lies shouldn’t be that difficult (SHOULDN’T is the Key word here).
Next we have to erase these jacked up messages from our head by replacing the negative with positive thoughts and actions.
Are you with me? Let’s give it shot…
First off, give yourself permission to openly want it. IT? You know a man/a relationship. In this day of the “Independent women” where wanting a Good Man in your life seems to be heavily frowned upon, women openly proclaim their lack of need for such foolishness yet when home alone, whine and cry over that specific forbidden desire. As I said, it’s ok to want it! Just because popular opinion states you shouldn’t want the “IT”, doesn’t mean it’s correct or even for you. Be a true independent woman and follow your own path, not the one created by others.
Secondly acknowledge the normalcy of wanting to have a mate. It is natural to want companionship. You don’t have to lose who you are by having someone to share in your life experiences. As a matter of fact the right connection will further enhance the true you. Being with someone should not cause or ever force you to cross over into “Himville”. This is a complementary partnership not a freaking takeover.
Lastly, be open without settling. His ass is and will not be perfect. Neither were you before you finished your hair and makeup (Bwaahahahaha…I’m just saying). Again, be open. For example, when I see people doing things or acting in a way that I think is questionable or jacked up (so to speak), normally I shake it off with “Errbody wasn’t raised by my momma” and keep it moving. Good or bad, it’s true. What that really says is their life experiences may have been very different from mine. Who’s to say that all my actions are what my parents intended? Maybe you just witnessed an out of character moment. We’ve all had those. Just don’t allow that one glimpse to be the end all be all. I’m not saying ignore a consistent showing of that moment of glory but maybe step pass the 1st act and see what the next scene reveals. Trust me, the real being will definitely shine through plus rarely is an in-tune gut ever wrong. The basic foundation of the real him could flawlessly exist. Maybe the structure is loose or needs some adjustments. No I’m not saying take him on as a fixer-upper project however it is amazing what a fresh coat of paint can do to an old room. Ya never know, you could be that perfect spark that triggers his spirit to align with yours.
Bottom line BigGirlz, it’s time to purge our minds, thoughts and spirits and begin the process of living in reality. Don’t let the opinions of others and the self developed lies prevent you from seeking the fulfillment of your heart’s desire. Win or lose what’s life without the adventure of trying…BORING AS HELL!!!!
I’m moving on to the next one, while stretching my thoughts beyond my own experiences.